Today I am sharing my third and final post on preparing for our future husbands!
In my last post I listed some practical suggestions for things we can be doing now to benefit our (potential) future marriages but today I am focusing on some of the more spiritual ways to prepare.
- Pray for him
“Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;” – Colossians 4:2
Lets face it – unless our future husbands haven’t been born yet (somewhat unlikely), or have already overcome any kind of temptation, sin or struggle out there (even more unlikely … okay, impossible!), then our husbands are facing battles all the time and need our intercession more than we know. Maybe he is trying to decide on his future career or struggling in some other area, but chances are he’s out there somewhere needing your prayers.
Prayer is SUCH a powerful weapon! I am reading a book called Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan to Serious, Specific and Strategic Prayer by Priscilla Shirer. (On a side note, she was one of the main characters in the movie War Room) One thing that she stresses is that the devil doesn’t do mass attacks on God’s people. He studies us and knows our weaknesses and struggles, and then attacks those weak points. And what do we do in return??? We whimper up to our Heavenly Father, begging Him for His help and wondering why He’d let things like this happen, instead of arming ourselves with His armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) and going to battle on our knees.
In all honesty, I never took prayer very seriously until more recently … I prayed of course and knew it was powerful, but had such a limited understanding of its importance and power.
- Be a servant
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
– Mark 10:46
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” – Colossians 3:23-24
One of the most beautiful things to me is a servant’s heart: those who are quick to see something that needs to be done and do it cheerfully without any thought of reward or recognition.
It’s easy to offer to do the dishes when friends are around, isn’t it??? But how about offering to do them when your sister is exhausted and has a long list of things that still need to be done? A little different, eh? 🙂
One thing that I’ve been learning is that I have to have a servant’s heart in order to be a good servant. Let me explain. Some of us want to help out and be nice but if we aren’t truly sensitive to those around us and trying to find ways to serve, we will miss so many opportunities to do so. I see that in myself so often.
If a little old lady in front of you at the store asked you to get a can of tomato sauce down from the top shelf for her, you wouldn’t hesitate to reach up and hand it to her, would you? And she’d say “thank you!” and you’d go on feeling all warm and fuzzy inside for doing something nice. But would you have noticed the little old lady struggling to reach it in the first place? Would you have gone on past or stopped and offered to help before she had to ask you?
After observing many husbands and wives, I have learned that being a servant plays a big part in marriage (or at least it should!). It is something I really need to work on!
- Learn to let go
“When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom.” – Proverbs 11:2
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” – Philippians 2:3
A fruitful marriage needs lots of self-sacrifice and denial.
As humans, we naturally want things our own way. We want to be right. Some of are more strong-willed and obstinate than others but I think it would be safe to say that most of us have struggled (or do still struggle) with instances of wanting our way at times.
I used to really struggle with micro-managing. I was always trying to teach people how to do things the “right” way, but I didn’t get very far! It is so hard to let go of “my way” and there are still plenty of times when I have to bite my tongue when I see something being done the “wrong” way, but it is so amazing how freeing it is to let go of things and just keep going!
Practice flexibility. Learn humility. Remind yourself to think of others before yourself.
- Learn submission
“Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” – James 4:7
Ohhh … this is such a touchy subject! Submission is something with which I struggle a lot but I am really trying to work on it. The Bible is very clear in saying that a wives should submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22) and we should be practicing that now.
Nowadays submission is looked down upon as a weakness, something old-fashioned and inapplicable in our day and age. But I see nowhere in the Bible where submission was only encouraged for a certain time period or era.
- Learn to repent and forgive
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
– 1 John 1:9
Confessing things and asking forgiveness can be extremely unpleasant, but it is a must if we are going to live a righteous and holy life! And forgiveness is such an awesome thing!
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” – Matthew 6:14-15
Forgiveness is one of the things that I’m constantly having to work on. There is not a one time fix, and sometimes we don’t even know when we’re unforgiving or bitter with somebody or something, so it is really important that we continually examine our hearts.
- Be compassionate
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32
In a world where we are taught to be strong, tough, independent and self-centered … compassion is such a beautiful thing! Compassion is one of those things that seems to often be ignored these days, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It is amazing how different things are when we pour a little love, a little care and a little kindness into the lives of those around us!
I hope you’ve been encouraged and challenged by this post! With lots of love and blessings ~ Abigail Aliyah
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
– Hebrews 12:1-2