“I’m waiting for my prince.”
We’ve all most likely heard this or said it ourselves. What a beautiful thing it is to save ourselves for our husbands! To remain pure, to not give in to this world’s evil pressure, to give myself completely to the love of my life is something I long for so much, but today I’m talking about a different kind of waiting … a kind of waiting that we shouldn’t be doing. Please hear me out before you start throwing stones … hopefully you will agree with me by the end of this post, and if not, I’m really sorry!
There seem to be two common mindset extremes when it comes to the role of unmarried ladies: you either move out on your own, get a degree and become independent at “the age,” or you stay at home and live off of your parents, waiting for Prince Charming to show up, right? I have issues with both of those.
Although I strongly believe that an unmarried daughter should stay under her father’s protection and guidance until marriage, I also strongly believe that unmarried young ladies should take her time at home very seriously, and use it to reach out and bless those around her.
I am NOT saying that all young ladies are like this … I am privileged to know many sweet friends who would not fall under either of these categories. But since this topic seems to be misunderstood and misrepresented at times, I wanted to share my thoughts on this subject. I think this is something all of us have to deal with at some point or another in life, and it has been in the forefront of my thoughts a lot for the last couple of months.
A few years ago I was talking with a young lady I had met once or twice before, and when the topic of “what’s new” came up, I asked her what she was doing with herself. She told me that she had been working at a store down the road for a while but had been laid off, so now she didn’t really do anything.
Although the years have passed, I still think of that little conversation and it’s so sad to know how many of us are sitting around waiting for something to happen in our lives – wasting precious moments that we could be hard at work building our Master’s kingdom. There ARE times to wait for the our Creator’s instructions and leading – please don’t get me wrong! But we should remember to ask ourselves, “am I waiting on Him to reveal His plans to me or am I just passing time without any ultimate motive or reason for what I’m doing right now?”
I recently looked up the word “wait,” and was surprised by the definition. It means “the action of staying where one is, or delaying action until a particular time, or until something else happens.” That kind of waiting is something I don’t want my name attached to!
Life is short, gals, way too short to spend waiting and inactive, hoping for something to “just happen to us.” No, you may not be married yet, but that doesn’t mean that life is on hold! On the contrary, I would suggest that this is one of the most important seasons of your life! It is an essential time of learning, perfecting, stretching, maturing and learning some more – a time that should be taken seriously.
I know I may be a little young to be writing such a post, and I’m sure there are plenty of ladies out there who could do a much better job at writing this than me. But I feel like this something that was put on my heart to share specifically with you unwed ladies, and I really hope this will encourage you (and me too!) to stay focused on what is really important.
Although marriage and motherhood are two of the most honorable and important things a woman could ever do, not everybody’s knight in shining armor rides in to save the day on the damsel’s 18th birthday, and that’s okay! We have to keep living regardless of what life gives us, and not just live … we need to bloom where we’re planted! If we don’t learn patience and contentment now when it seems hardest, when will we ever learn it?
My knight may show up in 2 years or 22 years … or maybe never. I’d preferably choose sooner than later, but our desires don’t always line up with our Master’s perfect plans and we need to rest in the knowledge that His ways are far above ours, and He’s working things out for the best!
A couple weeks ago some friends with babies came over and while holding one of them, a longing came over me to have a baby of my own in my arms. You know that feeling … the precious baby is snuggled up in your arms and starts to drift off to sleep, and you’re left wishing that time would stand still for a little while 🙂
But I had a decision to make. I could choose to let those thoughts grow, watering little seeds of discontentment, or I could stop it then and there and choose to be thankful for the place in which I am now. I had to understand that these seemingly innocent thoughts were from none other than the enemy himself, trying to steal away my happiness.
You see, he’s a lot smarter than we give him credit for being … he often uses good desires, hopes and dreams to mislead and rob us of our happiness, contentment and faith … you name it. Is it wrong to want to be married and have a family of our own? Of course not! But it IS wrong to become so consumed with those thoughts that we aren’t content with where the Father has placed us at this time? Absolutely!
There are two ways to look at this phase of life we’re in before marriage … we can either see it as a time of hanging out until he finally gets here, or an exciting time to learn skills that will help our families and better prepare us for our future. It’s our choice. In other words, you can spend your time watching movies, reading romance novels and daydreaming about your glorious “happily ever after” future, or you can get off the couch and get ready for it!
Which will you do?
Soooo … what do we do now??? Living at home means helping out with chores every now and then and being a couch potato right? No! We have to keep pressing on regardless of where we are, who’s in our life and what we’re going through. Something we have to grasp is that “our” time isn’t really ours at all. We were put here on earth to bring glory to the Father and do His will and as purchased daughters of the King of Kings, our lives are really not our own to dispense with. We weren’t put here to chase our own dreams, plans, desires and agendas (even when those include marriage, motherhood and all the other great things that we long for.)
There are SO many ways we can and should be preparing for our husbands right now, so stay tuned for my next post on “preparing for him”, where we will be going over some simple ways that we can be preparing for our husbands right now! It will most likely be posted next week. Until then, please examine your heart and ask yourself these questions:
- Am I living in a way that my Heavenly Father would be pleased with?
- Am I making the most of my time here on earth?
- Am I doing all I can to bless, encourage and build up other people?
- Am I preparing myself to be a virtuous wife and mommy someday?
- If my husband walked into my life tomorrow, would he be pleased or disappointed with the things I am doing and the choices I’m making?
- Am I waiting for the life that I want to start at some point, or am I living life to its fullest now?
With lots of love until next time ~ Abigail Aliyah