Ain’t You Glad You’re Single?

I’ve got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle,
As I go riding merrily along.
And they sing “oh ain’t you glad you’re single”,
And that song ain’t so very far from wrong.

glad you're single large

It’s an old Western song with a catchy tune and I was singing along with my younger siblings when the meaning of the words struck me.

Ain’t you glad you’re single?

Well no … as a matter of fact, I ain’t!  I’d rather be married, thank you very much!

What a stupid song! was the thought that went through my mind!

Getting married and having a family of my own has been my greatest desire for as long I can remember.  I always wanted to get married young … you know, like at 16 or 17.  And as the years go by and my age nears that quarter of a century, I have to fight impatience and discontent.  I have to keep reminding myself that the Heavenly Father’s timing is perfect and I don’t want to step outside of it one little bit.

But glad to be single???  No way!

Then several thoughts came to mind, thoughts that inspired this post.  I thought of the many Scriptures that command us to be glad and rejoice.  I thought of Pollyanna and her “glad game” … finding something to be glad about in every circumstance.  And I thought of Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:34 – There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

To be honest, caring for how I may please my husband sounds pretty good to me right now!  I do believe there is a part of my carnal self that thinks that would be more enjoyable than caring for how to please my Savior.  Perhaps some others can relate!

But I think that’s where many of us miss a lot during this time of life … we’re too busy wishing for what we don’t have, that our focus isn’t on being holy in body and spirit and pleasing our Lord.

So with those thoughts in mind, I wondered to myself … can I really say that I’m glad I’m single?  I’m not quite sure yet but I will admit there are many aspects of singlehood that I can be glad about.  Here are a few:

  • Living at home –  This is huge!  I love my family and our home.  I love the feeling that comes to me when I pull into the driveway after being out and about … that deep sigh of relief … I’m home!  Although I do consider myself an introvert, I cannot even imagine living by myself – that would be so lonely!
  • Caring for the things of the Lord –  Like Paul said, the unmarried years are a period of life in which we have more time to focus on the spiritual things.  That may mean that we can spend a large portion of the day studying the Bible, because we don’t have the responsibilities of a house and family to care for.  Or we can fast and pray for an extended of period of time, without worrying about keeping our families fed, or being so drained that we can’t properly care for them.  This can also take on physical aspect, as we are free to volunteer our time and talents to reach out to others, in ways we may not be able to once we’re married.
  • Traveling as a family –  Several weeks ago we all traveled together to visit some friends who live several hours away, and we had such a wonderful day.  We sang songs together on the drive … we took some time to walk around and play at the Ocoee river … we stopped for ice cream at a quaint shop in Chattanooga … we went into Publix for a few groceries and were stopped by an older gentleman who wanted to know about the way we practice our faith … in short, we talked and simply enjoyed our time together.
  • Running a successful home business –  Our puppy business, Happy Hill Pups, keeps me on my toes 24/6 (I don’t say 24/7 because I do take a break on Sabbath!)  Granted, some times are slower and some are busier but overall, I (and my family members) invest a lot of time in keeping this family business going.  I am thankful for the opportunities, the things I’ve learned through it, the income that I’ve earned … but I know it wouldn’t be practical to continue my role in this business once I’m married.  Of course, I hope to still have my several dogs and raise puppies with them but it cannot be the focus of my day-in day-out life.
  • Sleeping through the night –  Ok, you might laugh at this one but I’m serious!  When I think of marriage, I think of motherhood as being synonymous with that.  I know that for some people this isn’t the case and my heart goes out to them.  It is my prayer though that I will be blessed with many children.  And mothers don’t get to sleep through the night much of the time … at least, that’s what I’ve heard!  So for right now, I can be glad to take advantage of sleep!
  • Shining Stars –  I started the magazine eight years ago to encourage unmarried young ladies.  I have been so blessed and encouraged and strengthened over the years and have met so many wonderful young ladies.  But, similar to the business, the magazine ministry demands a lot of my time.  Being single right now, I can invest that time into it.  Once I’m married, I will need to invest that time into my home and family.
  • Singing in the kitchen –  One night several weeks ago, the kitchen needed to be cleaned up and no one felt much like doing it!  Lydia and I ended up volunteering, a little grudgingly and without the most pleasant attitudes at first.  Things threatened to be kind of unpleasant for a little bit but after we had apologized and made things right with each other, she suggested that we sing while we worked.  We sang song after song and had such an enjoyable time doing it!  Once I’m married, I have a feeling my opportunities for washing dishes and singing with Lydia are going to be few and far between.
  • Writing letters to my husband without knowing who he is –  Do any of you unmarried young ladies write letters to your husband?  I started doing this several years ago, and unfortunately I don’t do it as often as I would like, but one of the things I love about it is being able to write without knowing who he is!  If I knew who he was and what his personality was like, I would tend to taylor my writing to fit what he might expect.  This way, I can express myself honestly, without any hesitations or questions in my mind about his reaction.
  • Traveling to Israel with Abba and Tommy.  When you’re reading this, I will be spending four weeks in Israel with my father and brother.  While I am sorry that the whole family cannot go along on this trip, I am very thankful for this experience.  That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like to travel Israel with my husband, but I am very excited about going with my father and brother … something that wouldn’t have happened if I was already married.

Disclaimer: I wouldn’t want anyone to misunderstand what I have said and take it to mean that being single is better than being married, or that one should wait to get married until one has experienced a long time period as a single.  I believe that being a wife and mother is the absolute best and highest calling a woman can have and it makes me so sad that women refuse to fulfill this role.  However I do see the flip side and recognize that many young ladies cultivate such a longing to get married that it causes damage in their spiritual lives, and that is the group to whom I am writing this post.  As in all things, balance is the key!

What do you think …

If you’re unmarried, what are some reasons that you can be glad about that relationship status?  

If you are married, what are some of the positive aspects of singlehood that you enjoyed, or could look back and appreciate later on?

13 thoughts on “Ain’t You Glad You’re Single?

  1. I have a tape with that song. I used to tease one of my “wanting to get married” brothers that he needed a pair of spurs! I have never quite understood though why it goes on to say that the words “ain’t so very far from wrong.”

    I did not get married until nearly 28. One thing I really enjoyed before getting married was the evenings. I enjoyed working in the garden after the heat of the day was gone or taking a walk in the cool evenings. Now, my husband goes to be very early and likes me to go to bed at the same time. So, I am rarely out to enjoy the summer evenings any more as we are getting ready for bed and in bed while it is still light outside!

  2. Hi Hannah!

    I have been married for 27 years after getting married at 18. Life has shown me at least 2 areas that singleness (and covered under your parents) would be nice:
    1) The world has no limits for you! Certainly, we would all like to see our businesses succeed but if they don’t, our parents would be there to make sure we are not homeless and hungry!
    2) Since we have been raised by our parents, if we are not in rebellion, we will have like minds with them. Therefore, if we have an idea or desire that can be fulfilled they will generally be in agreement with us. It will probably not be so easy with a spouse!
    3) After you complete your family responsibilities, your time is your own. Husbands have to be attended to also !

    And I am sorry that you have an unfulfilled longing. I pray that God brings your spouse sooner than later, according to His Will!

    Blessings,
    Melissa M.

  3. Dearest Hannah, I so appreciate your honesty. I also appreciate you sharing the wisdom you share – God is doing a mighty work in your life and you are being a light and testimony to others….including married women 🙂

    My heart’s desire was to marry a godly man and I praise the Lord for answering that desire. I was married a month after my 21st birthday. The first year was….trying. There were many things going on {I won’t go into detail}, but through it all the Lord taught my husband and me many lessons that have gotten us through the last 8 years of marriage. I learned in that first year that it’s no longer about “me,” but rather my husband and our relationship with Jesus Christ. As I look back I am amazed at how selfish I could be….Marrage really is a life-changing experience and I truly believe we MUST have the Heavenly Father FIRST in all things or else things will crumble. The Lord won the victory and because of Him my husband and I have been blessed with 8 years of blissful marriage {Lord-willing, we will have many, many more.} 🙂

    My dear Hannah, how I will pray for you. God has given you this desure and His timing is perfect! Love and hugs!

    Thanks for sharing with Roses of Inspiration.

    1. Dear Stephanie, thank you so much for sharing some of your experience … it is really a blessing to hear. And I think it’s so important to understand that a successful marriage is about being totally surrendered to our Heavenly Father and Him being number one! This is something we unmarried girls can definitely practice! It’s so good to hear from you as always 🙂

  4. Aw! I LOVE this post! There is a delicate balance between desiring marriage and motherhood (for which you are created) and to embrace the single years and be content until the Lord brings the man you are to marry. This is so good! MacKenzie just wrote a post (her 2nd blog post!) on writing Letters to My (Future) Husband.

  5. I am married myself, but have many friends who are single and wrestle with where God is in the midst of their strong desires to have a husband and start a family. These are beautiful encouraging words for people in that scenario! Thanks for sharing!

  6. As a person of faith myself, I NEVER saw marriage and mother hood as God’s highest calling for a woman. I saw it as one possibility that He may have in store for me. Instead of being anxious and frustrated that I wasn’t married, I chose to turn my whole life over to Him. It was such a peaceful, freeing feeling to know that my love life was in His hands, not mine.

    As a result, I was free to enjoy the single life and life as a working woman for as long as He saw fit. I have a Master’s Degree, I’ve worked in some amazing industries, traveled to Chile with my brother, bought my own house, and saved a nice pile of money.

    I married at 34, and had two children less than two years later. My husband was worth the wait, believe me! I truly believe that, had I married out of anxiety or frustration or feeling like I was the only one who wasn’t married yet, I would not be with the man God intended for me and I’d be miserable in marriage.

    There are blessings to the single life – you SHOULD enjoy them until God leads you to new blessings!

  7. I always wanted to get married young, but I didn’t meet the man who later became my husband until I was 26. We married at 28 and are now blessed with a daughter (hopefully other little ones will follow).
    Paul had some great things to say about marriage and singleness, but so did God. It was God who looked at Adam in his single state and said “It is not good for man to be alone.” His solution for Adam was a bride. I think this shows us that there is no shame in wanting marriage. God created it for us.
    I wrote letters to my husband from the time I was a young teen. I gave them to him on our wedding night. He still has them and reads them on occasion. I continue to write letters and add them to the collection. 🙂

    1. Great point … that He said it isn’t good for man to be alone. He also said “he who finds a wife finds a good thing”. I expect that goes for ladies too 🙂 so many people are quick to quote Paul and forget that marriage was the Creator’s design from the beginning. Thank you so much for sharing 🙂

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