Raising Children – It’s What They Do Best

Raising Children - It's What They Do Best

Our family enjoys old Western shows and we have recently been watching episodes of The Rifleman on youtube.  In a particular episode, there were some disreputable women who were trying to set up a gambling hall in the local town and after they had been run out, Mark asked his father who those women were and what did they want?  Lucas told him that they were card dealers and wanted to turn North Fork into a gaming town.  Mark replied, “It seems like those women ought to stop playing cards and start raising kids!” and his father answered, “Yep, that’s what they do best!”

Of course, we all started laughing and my father said “can you believe it?!”  Can you imagine if someone made that statement on TV today? I’m not sure what were the motives of the producers for including such a strong statement but it is a truth that few people want to recognize or acknowledge.

So as we prepare for Mother’s Day coming up in just a few days, I want to encourage the mothers out there … you are doing what you can do best!  You may think it strange that an unmarried girl with no children is writing a post like this but I believe this standard is one for which even us unmarried young ladies should be striving and preparing.

I can understand when people who don’t believe in the God of the Bible refuse to follow His standards, but it puzzles me when people who believe in the Bible choose to live a lifestyle that is in direct conflict with its instructions.  The simple fact is that women were created to be wives and mommies.  There is no way to get around that!  Your physical body should remind you of this fact every day.  On the emotional level, women were created to be helpmeets to their husbands and nurturers to their children.

Even women who are so bound by feministic ideology as to reject this usually end up fulfilling their womanly roles, albeit in warped fashion.  They end up being a helpmeet to someone (usually men) and they must nurture something (usually it’s animals).  Even they cannot escape the innate desires that were woven into their DNA by a loving Heavenly Father who wants His creation to have what is best for them.

Women were created for a certain role and that is what they are good at.  When they are “allowed” to truly fulfill that role and are respected for doing it … wow!  It’s beautiful. Unfortunately the world in which we live condemns women who want to fulfill that role by taunting them with condemnation that they aren’t “talented” or “accomplished” or “educated” enough to be anything but a homemaker.  It’s as if being wives and mommies doesn’t take any skill or talent or patience … it’s just something that you do if you aren’t good enough to do anything else!

What foolishness!

Raising Children - It's What They Do Best

From an economical viewpoint, have you seen the calculations that show a stay-at-home mom really ought to earn over $95,000 a year?  If someone else were hired to take over her tasks and responsibilities, this is what they would get paid.  And I believe that is a conservative estimate.  Now I know why my father always said that my mother works harder than him!

But the financial aspect is nothing compared to the opportunity she has to reach the world through the lives of her children.  We have all heard the saying “For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world” but I think many women do not believe it.  They hire someone else to rock the cradle for them so that they can rule the world exclusive of husband and children.  The end result is confusion and misery.

Sometime back I was listening to the Christian radio and there was a discussion between a female caller and the female DJ about how they had dropped their children off at the nursery that morning – I think one of them had a 6 week old baby and the other had a toddler.  They were talking about how hard it was to leave their children and yet they were trying to make the best of it.

And I wanted to yell – You left your precious child in the care of others so that you could come to work … at a Christian radio station???  This is what our world has come to.  Motherhood has lost its value and women are no longer expected to do “what they do best”, on the contrary – they are ridiculed when they do!

I know that raising children isn’t easy – I have observed my mother for 24 years!  I have seen her get frustrated, overwhelmed, angry and hurt … and I have seen her ask forgiveness and start the day all over again.  Raising children is probably the most difficult occupation in the world, because souls are involved.  There are two kingdoms battling for those souls and the mother has the greatest influence on which kingdom will win.  The father has great influence too but I sometimes wonder if the mother doesn’t have more.  There are too many accounts of children who had no ‘count fathers and yet were led to the narrow path through the prayers and examples of their mothers.

But even if it is the most difficult thing to do, it can also be the most rewarding.  Mothers, I encourage you to take joy in doing what you can do best – in raising your children in the fear and admonition of the Almighty and directing them to the Savior who instructed us, “take up your cross and follow me”.  It isn’t a simple task … and it isn’t going to be.  We have an adversary who is going to make it as difficult as he can because he wants your children.

The good news is, you can defeat him!  When you realize that being a wife and mother is the highest and most important calling you could ever fulfill … and that it is what you do best … that no other career could ever fulfill you like this one does … and you pour yourself into your family, filling their lives with love and blessings … and you keep loving … and keep serving … and keep working … and keep praying … and then do it all over again …

… then your children will rise up and call you blessed; your husband also and he will praise you, saying many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all.  Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain: but you, a woman who fears YHWH, you shall be praised.  You will be given the fruit of your hands and your own works will praise you in the gates.

Happy Mother’s Day Y’all!!

21 thoughts on “Raising Children – It’s What They Do Best

  1. Thanks for this encouraging post! At almost 38 weeks pregnant, I’m going to get to see my baby for the first time some day soon! I’m excited about being a mother.

  2. Thank you for this totally true and right but women seemed trapped into leaving their children with someone else – people always ask why our children are always with us – but we have the God-given responsibility to train them!

    May God bless you and your family and may you continue to flourish as a beautiful example of a young Christian woman.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Ren. It is a blessing to hear of other parents who believe in their responsibility to train their children in righteousness. Blessings to you and yours!

  3. Hannah,

    I appreciate this post and the sentiment you are trying to convey. We as women are created to do a beautiful and rewarding task. It’s not the only task we can or should do, but it is certainly a central one, and a gift uniquely given to us as women by God.

    I do think, though, that perhaps you are being a bit harsh on the women who dropped their kids off for childcare while they went to work. It breaks my heart that those children aren’t experiencing their mothers’ love and care all day, and that those mothers are missing out on so much of their children’s lives. But at the same time, we do have to understand that this is an imperfect and sometimes heartbreaking world. Some women, whether through their own foolish choices or through circumstances outside their control (but always within God’s sovereignty!) HAVE to work in order to provide for their children. They don’t have the option to stay at home. And though I find it deeply saddening, sometimes it is the best way they can provide for their children.

    I am fully in support of women raising their children themselves and embracing their calling as wives and mothers. But it also saddens me when Christians judge working mothers for what they do, rather than coming alongside them to understand and help them move toward the ideal if possible. Yes, many women (sadly) choose work over motherhood. But many don’t even have that choice. And we, as followers of the Messiah, often judge a little too quickly in that area.

    Keep up the good work encouraging women to embrace God’s good and gracious plans! I appreciate what you and your sisters and mother do.

    God bless,
    Rivkah

    1. Shalom Rivkah, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on this subject – I really appreciate it! I also agree that there are women who are forced to work outside the home and perhaps I should have clarified that in the post. I would never want to condemn a woman who has no other option but to support herself and her children.

      However my concern is that most women who work outside the home really do not have to but rather choose to because they feel the need to meet our culture’s expectations, especially when it comes to finances and material possessions. In my personal experience (which involves hundreds, possibly thousands, of women from various backgrounds), I have met VERY few women who truly NEEDED to work outside the home.

      So yes, I would never want to condemn those who do but I hope and pray that any woman who leaves her children to be raised by others is truly in a desperate position and this is her only option. If this is not the case, then I believe she is turning her back on the very essence of who she was created to be.

      1. I’m glad we agree, then. 🙂 I guess the category of women I was particularly thinking of is single mothers – those women have few options besides working. True, getting married would be the ideal situation (for both mother and children), but that isn’t always possible. And children do need to be provided for monetarily, so in that case the mother is the one who ends up stepping up. Most single mothers I know are women who deeply love their children, which is why they work.

        I think we are overall in agreement with one another. I just always want to be sure we aren’t driving people away by careless words or generalizations. Yes, the gospel is a stumbling block to those who are perishing, but we shouldn’t be adding other unnecessary stumbling blocks to it. I truly believe a single, working mother can be a strong, beautiful woman of God. And nowhere does the Scripture say a woman cannot work outside the home – it is more nuanced than that. So we should all be sure to choose our words carefully, not elevating outward action over the intentions of the heart, and always remembering the love and grace shown to us through Yeshua our savior.

  4. Thank you for your article. This is a great reminder as a mother of four, that this is where I am suppose to be .. Where God wants me to be.

  5. Great post, Hannah! All of us need these kind of reminders, all the time. It is world’s hardest job, for sure. But, as I watched Isaac and Aliyah walk hand and hand tonight, I have to agree it’s the most rewarding. And I know the best is yet to come!

  6. This is a great post Hannah. I agree with you that women in today’s society are frowned upon for wanting to stay home with their kids. It seems so silly to me. I work part time (not for much longer though) and even struggle with going to an office a few days a week. Thanks for being so encouraging!
    And thanks for sharing on the Shine Blog Hop!

  7. Hannah, what a beautifully written post. It is sad that through circumstance or choice so many are missing out on the greatest (and hardest) job in the world. I discovered your post on “What Joy is Mine.” Blessings!

  8. My dear Hannah, you are a wise young lady and I am very appreciative of you sharing this with us. I am blessed to be a stay-at-home mother and I would not trade it for anything. My husband and I both believe this is what God desires and to be in His will is the perfect place to be 🙂

    This was a wonderful post, sweet Hannah. Thanks for sharing with Roses of Inspiration. Hugs and blessings!

  9. Dearest Hannah, Grace and Peace unto you from our father and saviour. I myself have only been a stay at home mum with my 3children 17,6 & 3 plus husband for the last 2years. I was raised to have my focus on a career and I thrived on that fulltime career seeing my job at home, which I saw as just that a job, a chore. When in 2013 our circumstances changed and I became a stay at home mum. I remember the first week my then 4year old wrote his name and I asked him who wrote that, he said ‘I did’, I was dumbfounded and asked him to write it again so I could see. I will never forget that moment, when I felt how much of me I was taking away from my children and how much I was missing out on. I now homeschool, have a veggie patch, knit, sew, cross stitch, play in the mud, teach my children to cook as I am still teaching myself to cook from scratch and love the peace, security, stability and sound mindness of a simple life holding onto our God. Even though it has been 2years since I have worked there are still times like today when the fleshly desire tries to creep back in and I begin not to see my home role as a role from God,but then how faithful is he for me to bump into your post here and read your words and come away upbuilt, encouraged, confident and in love again with Gods way for my life.
    Thankyou xx

    1. Wow! Words cannot describe what a blessing it was to read this! Thank you so much for sharing your story … it is such an encouragement to hear.

      I think you said something very important too … how at times the fleshly desire tries to creep back in. I think this is something all women should keep in mind – as much as they may love being a homemaker and believe it is the right thing to do, there will always be the fleshly struggles to overcome.

      They will be different for each person … for some the temptation may be to lash out in anger, for others it may be to go back to work, for others it may be to leave altogether. Some women will say that they just can’t be a homemaker … it isn’t fulfilling, they don’t have the right temperament for it, they weren’t trained to do it, etc, but it really comes down to: there will be struggles regardless of temperament, training or background because this is a role that the prince of this world wants to annihilate!

      So when the frustration and discouragement comes (and it will come!) the only thing to do is to strengthen ourselves with refreshment and encouragement, either directly from the heavenly Father and His Word or what He had shared through other people, and keep on keeping on!

      Blessings to you and your family and thank you SO MUCH for sharing 🙂

  10. This was so encouraging to me to read this. As a homeschooling mama who has been struggling of late with the idea of sending the kids to public school. God called be to be the mother of my four precious babes! And called us to homeschool. I will trust in him and not on myself.

    1. Thank you for sharing Courtney, I’m so thankful to hear this. Hang in there! I can’t begin to express how thankful I am that my parents homeschooled my siblings and me, even though I know it was difficult at times. It’s all worth it in the end 🙂

  11. Thanks so much for sharing this. I think that motherhood is the most important job there is. I did work when my daughter was growing up because I had to but God really took care of that situation. Blessings. Visiting from So Much at Home.

  12. Hannah….”Well said!” I am so blessed the Lord called me into full time mothering. It has been an amazing journey so far. Thank you for sharing this at Monday’s Musings. Have a great week.

  13. Dear Hannah…I am just now getting to read this article! How wonderful it is! Father has given you so much insight! I was glad to see Rivkah clarified that one point. It is sad, but true that some women have no choice but to work outside the home. I would love for my granddaughter and niece to read this, but both their Moms worked outside the home, so I’ll not cause hurt feelings, but sure do agree with what you wrote 100%.

  14. I appreciate and agree with the main point of this article: women were made to be helpers & nurturers. I am a stay at home mom to 4 girls and can attest to the fulfillment that I get from raising my kids. But I can also attest to how difficult a lifestyle it is. I know the depression that comes from losing yourself in a sea of other’s wants and needs, of losing your identity and always being So-and-so’s Mom. And so I absolutely understand why so many women choose to work. It’s so very important that we do not judge those women, but support them. Because they are doing what is best for THEM. If they feel fulfilled, they will be able to give of themselves more freely to their children.

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