Enjoy The Adventure (Have Children!)

Enjoy The Adventure (Have Children!)

The following article was co-authored by Tom and Annie Washburn for an issue of Shining Stars Magazine.  It has been revised and edited to be published here.

A MOTHER’S PERSPECTIVE
When Hannah mentioned the theme for this issue would be about children, I first thought it was a strange topic for a single women’s magazine.  Then I realized how important a topic this is to discuss with single women.  As I went back in time to when I was a single lady, I remembered when I first heard the idea that children were blessings and you ought not limit them.  Just about the time my husband and I met, I came across The Way Home by Mary Pride.  As I read that book, the whole way I lived my life came into question.

By the time my husband and I were entering into marriage, we both realized what a blessing children were.  Thankfully, despite opposition from the majority of people we knew, we chose not to hinder our Heavenly Father from giving us any blessings which He desired.  How we rejoiced when we were entrusted with the gift of Hannah on our honeymoon.

Having children is a wonderful adventure.  I have to admit that at first I was somewhat terrified that if we did not use birth control, I would be overwhelmed with children I did not know how to raise.  Thankfully, my husband Tom helped me overcome my fears.  Our Heavenly Father has purposes and plans for each life He creates.  If we allow Him, He shows us how to raise the blessings He gives us.  All I needed to do was listen and obey.

Women are being encouraged to do anything but have children.  I strongly encourage you to start preparing now to have children.  Learn now how to take care of your body so that it will be healthy and you can enjoy a good pregnancy and natural birth.  Help mothers with young children so that you can get an idea of how to care for them.  Read Scripturally-based books on how to discipline your blessings.  The best book my husband and I read was What the Bible Says About Child Training by Richard Fugate.

In closing I want to say – please start preparing now to be ready to receive whatever blessings our Heavenly Father gives you once you are married.  Children have more value and give more joy than career, adventure, material goods or personal pleasure.  Enjoy the adventure!

Enjoy The Adventure (Have Children!)

A FATHER’S PERSPECTIVE
Hannah usually asks me … “Do you have anything you would like to write for this issue?”.  This time, the topic is something very near and dear to my heart.  Some could say it is one of the ways we are defined as a family.  As I read over what Annie wrote, I saw that it would be difficult to put twenty-some years of life experiences into a couple hundred word article, but I could add a few things that could be note-worthy.

One of the first and saddest memories I have of our preparation for marriage was that we received no instruction from any of our “brethren” concerning children.  Anything that might be construed as “instruction” were actually just comments here and there but none of them encouraged us to HAVE CHILDREN!!!  Please understand that we attended what most people would call “on-fire, spirit-filled, walk-the-walk” type congregations.  We would feed the hungry; clothe the naked; street preach; do pro-life work; support missions; etc.  But no one ever said that “Children are a blessing and you should desire every blessing that the Father has for you”. The most “encouraging” comment we received was from an older couple who had three grown children.  They told us that if we waited until we thought we ready to have children, we would never have them.

Having been involved in pro-life work was extremely helpful for us in thinking through this situation.  We would actually go down on the sidewalk and talk face to face with the mothers going in for abortions.  It finally dawned on us that the girls going in for abortions were giving the same excuses to have an abortion, that the “on-fire, spirit-filled, etc” people were giving to not have any (or any more) children.  We/they can always find a reason to keep a child from coming in this world.  Too often, our reasons are the same as theirs.  Could there be such a thing as a “spiritual abortion” … when we do not welcome the blessing that our Heavenly Father has in store for us?

Consider the way that words and phrases have been used to twist the actual meaning:

“Planned Parenthood” … such a nice sounding name for an organization … an organization that is responsible for more abortions than any other.

“Every Child A Wanted Child” … if it is not wanted what do we do … kill it?

“Birth Control” … think about that one.  I have often said that if you want “birth control”, relax and push slowly when the baby is coming out.  They are not interested in a “controlled birth” … they want to make sure that a birth never happens.  On a side note, are you aware how many forms of “so-called” birth control or contraception actually cause a very early abortion?

Let’s commit to never use that birth control term again.  What term could we come up with to replace it?  “Child Prevention”?  Can you imagine the conversation at a wedding shower for a friend … “So, what kind of child prevention are you going to be using?”  You can probably come up with others.  I have a friend who talks about the “Pew Babies” who are killed by “contraceptive/birth control methods” … often by people sitting in the pews of churches claiming that they are “pro-life”.

Is it not a heart matter?  Doesn’t our Heavenly Father want your heart, your will, your desires … and conform all of them to His Heart, His Will and His Desires?  He is a God of Creation … and we are made in His image.  Who are we to say that we know better than He does?  Is He not the One who opens and closes the womb?  Then who are we to usurp His authority and take these matters in our own hands?

One of the main goals of Shining Stars Magazine is to “train up the young women …”.  As Hannah has said, this is training.  It is not something that happens immediately … overnight.  A bride (and groom) need to be ready to receive every blessing that the Father has for them.  Can you imagine someone saying:

“No more financial blessings.”

“We want to wait a few years before you bless us with Your fruits of the Spirit.”

“I have enough wisdom now … I’m going to take a break.”

“We can’t handle any more new believers in our congregation right now.”

Again, I’m sure you can think of some others.

I will leave you with something that some friends of ours send out with every email they send.  I think we call it a signature … you know what I mean.  It says this:

“The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing,
but in our culture we apply for the curse and reject the blessing.”

Enjoy The Adventure (Have Children!)

I encourage you … do not reject any blessing from the Father.  Twenty-four years ago, Annie and I committed to that.  Twenty-three years ago, Hannah was born.  If we had been “wise” and listened to not only what the world was telling us, but too many in the church … Hannah would not be here.  I give thanks to the Father for her, and all the other blessings that He has given us.

10 thoughts on “Enjoy The Adventure (Have Children!)

  1. What a blessed article! Because I didn’t become a believer until several years after our marriage, I was one of those who didn’t appreciate the “blessings” that Father probably wanted to bestow on me and Jim. I am also one of those who practiced what you, Tom, so accurately coined and termed “child prevention”. I say this, much to my sorrow. We have only two wonderful children, instead of who knows how many. In turn, our daughter only has two, and our son has three, although they had planned to stop at two. Did Jim & I unknowingly pass this very wrong mindset down to our children? I don’t know. And I don’t know how it got started with us. My Mama was from a family of 9, and Jim’s Mom was from a family of 10, while his Dad was from a family of (hold onto your hats!) 22! I must tell you that Jim’s grandfather had three wives, each of whom died after having birthed several children. So neither of us was raised thinking that having many children was a curse. But somewhere along the line we became deceived and so decided to only have two children. How wonderful it would have been to be surrounded by many blessings and to not have limited ourselves. But in our case, that wisdom came too late. I pray that every young lady reading your article will determine to be submissive to the Father’s will and not listen to what the world tells them.

  2. My husband and I were not counseled, nor were we encouraged, to welcome and enjoy the blessing of children. The Lord blessed us with three little ones in four years, and we told him we were done. Three years and a new conviction later, we reversed that decision and are now the blessed parents of eight by birth and adoption. Praise God for his goodness and grace!

  3. As a mom to 11 children, I’d like to say that I always had your point of view about birth control, until I developed a potentially fatal condition during my tenth pregnancy and again after my 11th was born. I agree that you must be educated about what the birth control actually does, but sometimes God may have a different plan for you. I wrote about it if you’re interested …

    1. Shalom Shelly,

      Thank you for writing and sharing. I did read your post and have to admit that it grieved me terribly to read of the justification of turning your womb from a place of life……to a place of death for any unborn child. I beseech you to remove the instrument of death from your arm. You may have been told that the implant in your arm will either prevent ovulation … or cause the cervical mucous to thicken, making it more difficult for the sperm to fertilize the egg … thus creating a new human life. Unfortunately, most people do not realize that there is a third way that this implant works. It alters the lining of the uterus … often causing the new human to not be able to implant in the way our God designed things. It then causes an abortion … death to the new baby.

      Secondly, having lived through two potentially fatal situations myself, I refuse to give doctors such a place of authority in my life……to use fear to influence my future. I encourage you to examine which god you serve. My God, the God of the Bible, YHWH, instructed His people not to sacrifice their children to other gods; Leviticus 18:21 and Leviticus 20:2-5. Since the god you are giving credit to condones an abortifacient, I highly encourage you to change gods. My desire is for your good and blessing. Please forgive any of my words that may appear hard.

      There are certain things that I feel strongly about, or should I say, that I have a conviction about. Trusting in a medical opinion over the desires of the Heavenly Father is one of them. I simply can not go there … nor can I condone any “so-called birth control” that can cause an abortion. May the Heavenly Father and His precious Son lead and guide you as you seek Them in Spirit and in Truth.

  4. I was placed on birth control years ago, not to prevent births as I was not active at that time, but because stuff wasn’t going wrong and I needed the hormones. So, when my husband and I got married a year and a half ago, I just stayed on it and didn’t give it any thought – until two months ago, when it came to my attention that many birth controls actually cause my own body to abort. That terrified me, so we’re done with all of that. I’m not sure what I think about other forms of birth controls that don’t cause abortions (condoms, vasectomies, etc.). I have much more praying and listening to do!

  5. Before I was married I didn’t want children- at all. Ever. God totally changed my heart when I got engaged. Now I have three, and I can’t think of anything I’d rather do or any way God could’ve blessed me more than the gift of my children. Motherhood is a high calling and a lovely blessing.
    Joining from the Hearts for Home blog hop. 🙂

  6. Thank you for a much needed post…..these things are left unspoken too many times and there is confusion surrounding the issues – even in churches. I see people who are in retirement years and are alone….because it was never the right time to have kids….and then it was too late. So sad. What a blessing our own 6 children are……

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *