Finding The Balance

personal discoveries

(You might like to read:
Part One: Why Would I Want To Leave Home?,
Part Two: Biblical Reasons For Being At Home,
Part Three: What Do You Do With Yourself All Day?)

scalesThe other aspect that I want to address is that of swinging the pendulum too far in the other direction and being totally focused on preparing for marriage that you lose touch with reality.  As I mentioned before, I totally believe that young ladies should spend time learning how to love their husbands and children and be keepers at home.  But I have heard people complain about girls who can only talk about their hope chests and what they want in a husband!  Some young ladies are so focused on marriage that they are not content with living their lives in the here and now.  This is not being a successful daughter at home!  As important as it is to prepare for marriage and motherhood, we must also be honest with ourselves and admit that some people are not created for that role.  Granted, these people are few and far between, but we have to be willing to lay down our hopes and dreams and goals, and be content that our heavenly Father knows what is best.

For some people, that means marriage at eighteen and a dozen children over a period of twenty years.  For others, that means not finding a spouse until upper twenties or even thirties or forties, and maybe not being able to have children at all.  And for a few people, that means never marrying at all.  If we are not completely surrendered to our heavenly Father’s will and plan, we will find it impossible to be content in our circumstances.

Several years ago, I was frightened by the idea that I might never get married!  I saw these wonderful young ladies who were unmarried and in their upper twenties, and I worried about how I would respond if that was YHWH’s will for me.  Then somehow my heart was changed, to the point that I can honestly say … as much as I would like to be married and have a family, I believe I could be joyful and content if that was not the Father’s plan for me.  And I want to encourage all young ladies to seek that place of contentment if you have not already found it.  I know that may be a scary thought, but we must realize that we serve a God who desires the very best for us and if we can whole-heartedly submit to His plan, we will find peace and joy and contentment.

So while I believe each young lady should practice and learn how to be a wife and mother, I also want to remind you not to view marriage as a cure-all or think that you’re really not living life to its fullest until you are married. We should be focused on serving and glorifying the heavenly Father each day of our lives … which brings me to the last aspect I would like to address.

woman-praying-with-bible-w350x2321 Corinthians 7:34 says “The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.”  I think that sometimes we focus so much on the physical aspects of preparing for marriage and motherhood, that we forget about the spiritual aspects.  Learning how to change diapers, prepare meals and balance a checkbook are all good things to know, but the most important thing we can be doing with our unmarried years, is caring about the things of the Lord.  In looking back at the Titus 2 passage, we see that the young women were to learn to be discreet, chaste and good, in addition to loving their husbands and children and being homemakers.  But it seems that we often focus on the husbands, children and homemaking part, and forget about the characteristics that we are supposed to be learning and accomplishing!

An unmarried daughter has so many opportunities, whether that be ministry, or cottage industries, or learning new skills, or hobbies – there are so many things we can do with our time!  But I believe it is imperative that we focus on the opportunities to strengthen and develop our spiritual lives and learn to be holy both in body and spirit.  Again, this may look different for different people.  Some young ladies may devote their time and energies to memorizing large quantities of Scripture, while others may find their calling in intercessory prayer.  Still others may have opportunities to be the hands and feet of our Savior, ministering to those in need.  Each of us must seek the heavenly Father to know how He would have us serve Him.  In order for us to be successful as daughters at home, our focus must be in the right place … our number one goal must be to care about the things that are important to our Creator.  If we can accomplish that, then everything else will fall into place!

There are so many things that I have learned through this journey of Godly womanhood and I know that I have a lot more to learn, but I hope that what I have shared will be a blessing and encouragement to some of you.  In closing, I want to emphasize that when dedicate our lives to serving the heavenly Father and following His plans and purposes, we will experience His blessings in a wonderful way.

All throughout Scripture there is a recurring theme … when His people follow Him and obey Him, He pours out showers of blessings.  When they do not surrender their lives to Him, there are negative consequences.  YHWH makes a promise in His Word that He will honor those that honor Him.  That is such a beautiful promise and it is wonderful to know that we can trust Him to do just that.  Sure, honoring Him in our choices and decisions may not always be the easiest thing to do, but we know that in the difficult moments we can turn to our Savior who was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  And we also know, as it says in James 1:12, “Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”

I have many favorite Bible verses, but there is one that is a constant inspiration and sums the way that I desire to live my life, and I would like to leave you with it.  Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

2 thoughts on “Finding The Balance

  1. Thank you, Hannah, for this insightful article! It was a help because I was able to quote a sentence from it to my sister. You said that if we are not completely submitted to Abba’s will and plan for our lives, that we will never be content. My sister had to move from where she and her family had lived for 25 years to another state, and she has been struggling with depression and bitterness over the move. She has told me that she knows Father has been using this to show her things in her life that He was not pleased with. Your comment made me go to scripture and find where Paul said that he had learned that in whatever state he found himself in, he was content. And like you said, if he was not totally submitted to Abba’s will and plan for his life, he’d not be able to say that. I have added you comment and Paul’s scripture to the letter I am writing to sister. I know it will help her to accept what Father has willed for her life for now.
    Again, thank you for your insight! Blessings….Charlene

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